Facing the uncertainties:

I keep asking myself why am I battling with myself to finish this book, the novel I desperately want to see published, sitting on a shelf in a bookstore near you? What is it about writing that bothers me?

In truth, after some consideration, I don’t think my battle has anything to do with the novel, it’s more about how I have spent my time recently. Or could it be that I struggle to complete tasks?

I’d say I am a great starter but less good as a completer/finisher, although I have no trouble with short stories… and I don’t think this is an industry where I can get away with doing a bodge-it and scarper routine. I think I have to learn a new mantra: I am a closer! I am a closer!

Hmm… Perhaps I am being too hard on myself.

It pains me to admit it but housework has long been postponed but household chores have to come first… The house needs to be easier to look after as I’m going to need help to do some things and I can’t expect people to help me if I leave the house in a disorganised state.

This summer my health was below par and I’ve struggled to remain upright and fully functioning. I don’t think I had realised how much of an impact the situation had on my creativity. But I have a resolution in sight, my long term health will be sorted so you’d think this might allow me the chance to get back to the novel. No such luck.

I had to put my ‘creative life’ on hold while I put my house in order. I went into for hospital for major surgery a little less than five weeks ago and suddenly the house became a priority. I need to be able to function while I recover. All those days when I ignored house work and chose to write instead have to be reversed and paid back!

Apparently I’m not supposed to push a vacuum cleaner around the house – odd that I don’t think I mind this half as much as not making a cup of tea, because lifting a kettle was tough the first few weeks!

But now I’m home convalescing there will be plenty of time to think through the novel, to extend the plot and develop the characters to their full potential, so this hiatus is only a temporary deviation from the master plan.

And as my health returns to I am quite certain I will be ready to face the publishing industry and look for an agent and a publisher, because I will complete my current manuscript. I am determined to achieve that much as the next book is buffering, waiting in the wings…

I’m looking for inspiration and ideas to motivate me to complete this task. Especially as the nights are drawing in. Any suggestions?