Unexpectedness…A strange notion

Nothing in life is certain and the older I get, the more I realize that within reason most ‘events’ in life are beyond my control and my life is about unexpectedness.

I have choices.

This morning I chose to sort out my airing cupboard. It’s an easy, simple task that centres me as I’ve always enjoy doing laundry …cool clean sheets do it for me! I’d seen some beautiful bed linen and I thought it might be wise to check whether I did need to buy it or need to splurge or more simply want new linen.

It turns out I’ve plenty of bed linen but on closer inspection it’s getting old and tired and in fact some of it definitely could do with being retired.

Almost all of my time I’m a full time support/carer of a young vibrant woman and most days my expectations are modified by external issues not directly related to me.

Each day now is about ‘unexpectedness.’ I may have an overall plan but that can change in an instance, and this new-revised-situation no longer knocks me off course.

I’ve adjusted to the uncertainty and the surprise of not being where I thought I might be… according to the overall plan. As a full time caregiver I’ve learned that I’ve absolutely no control over my 'caree’s' condition. However, I do adjust how I react to each new day’s events as my days often consist of some happenstance whereas other days might flow as usual.

I no longer have a ‘to-do list’- it got scratched a while back, it’s too frustrating to watch a list grow, with little hope of changing things.

Sleep is always a priority and exercise for me is moderated to avoid flare-ups. With enough sleep I’m human. Without sufficient sleep I’m not worth knowing as I function well below par. I dislike those grouchy-fug-filled-days most. last night for some reason my brain would not shut up talking to me so this morning I'm a more tired and functioning slightly below par.

So I’ve decided that throughout 2015 I’m going to dedicate more passion to everything I do, even to my chores. I’ve one life, one chance and I’m going to live ‘my life’ with passion.

Now I make Choices! This freshly drafted list of choices has a balance of happy events and some tasks. I rationalize which are more important and pick two.

Events have just taken another turn for the unexpected... I find I've more free time than originally planned.