Friday, 20 May 2011

Playing Happy Families:

Continuing my theme of heart stopping moments I’m going to ask you to imagine a young couple, Sunday lunch is in full swing with a very young son in his high chair at the dining room table. Both parents work full time so this is a special family moment, a sit down meal together.

Roast dinner is going down a treat when youngest family member pipes up:

Child: ‘F*** off.’

Both parents look at each other suspiciously.

Parent 1 does not flinch despite desperate desire to drop knife & fork: ‘don’t laugh, don’t smile, don’t say a thing just keep eating…’

Child: ‘F*** off.’

Parent 2: ‘who taught him too…?’

Parent 1: ‘I don’t know but ignore it… please, don’t acknowledge it…’

Child patently pissed off with being ignored by both parents expresses himself by singing a new song: ‘F*** off, f*** off, f*** off!’

Both parents fold, doubled up trying desperately hard not to burst into giggles because although this seems to be funny... it is terrifyingly not funny. Your mind works at a frantic speed trying to work out whom, how and where this dreadful language has been learned at such a tender age and then offered as lunch time conversation. The only saving grace is that it was delivered in the privacy of home, with no outsiders as witnesses.

And then there’s how the small matter of how to teach this beautiful child how to unlearn such an ugly word before going to nursery school or kindergarten!

Sometimes being a parent is agony…

1 comment:

  1. Hi, thanks for tweeting out my blog. What a hilarious incident you've blogged about. I thought for a start you were in a restaurant. What a relief! I suppose the only response is "the things kids say, eh!"